This won’t be the longest blog I’ve posted, nor will it be the most eloquently written. I’ve just come off a 12-hour shift that has left me utterly exhausted in every way. This job and those hours have pretty much consumed my life over the last month or so. It’s the reason I missed my monthly blog post in April. It’s the reason I haven’t been doing any writing lately, on here or anywhere else. It’s the reason I have unwittingly been performing one of my sarcastic scores for the struggling artist: “12. Ignore any artwork you may be doing, including this.”
If you’ve been following The Grace Period, you know that tomorrow is the opening night of The Sallie Mae Cabaret. I wish dearly that I could have been a part of it. Words can’t express how much. I know that my collaborators and friends have poured their hearts and souls into this and have been working just as hard as I have – twice as hard, in fact, because they’ve been balancing jobs AND producing their own work – but the difference is they have something more than a paycheck to show for it. I’m not trying to throw a self-indulgent pity party here, but the reality is that not all members of this collective are moving at the same pace. Some are finding ways to make their art work for them. Some, like myself, are not. I know I have to do better, for myself and for this project, which I have felt increasingly distant from, a sad fact that I know is my own fault. But like I said, this isn’t a pity party. I simply have to do better.